


run away with me anytime you want

by bi-tlejuice (bi_tlejuice)



Series: adventures of lydia deetz and the b-man [8]
Category: Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice) - Fandom, Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Best Friends, Crushes, F/F, Multi, and beetlejuice supports it so hard, just two gays bantering with each other, lydia is so gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23757820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_tlejuice/pseuds/bi-tlejuice
Summary: "Right. We also have, uh. A demon.""Lyds," she says. "You're kidding?""Unfortunately not," she sighs, kicking a stone with her shoe. "He showed up after we moved in- it's a stupid story but basically, he's decided to stick around. He's fucking annoying, but we're like best friends. Or something less weird than that."(or: lydia gets a crush)
Relationships: Beetlejuice/Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Lydia Deetz/Original Female Character(s)
Series: adventures of lydia deetz and the b-man [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690348
Comments: 31
Kudos: 275





	1. you can write it on your arm

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you like this! part two coming soon.

"Am I boring you, Miss Deetz?" 

Lydia jumps, sitting straight up in her chair. "No," she says in a voice that she hopes conveys how bored she is. It's a math lesson, so it's not even worth pretending she's interested. But, as much as she's truly considering walking out (mostly because of how many tiny bits of paper Anna has thrown at her) it's lunch next period and it's not worth disrupting that. There's a very exciting sandwich in her bag. 

"Are you sure? Maybe-" Mrs Sutton is starting to say when the classroom door opens a little too quickly, slamming against the paper display and causing a few pinned up sheets to flutter to the floor.

"Sorry!" says the girl standing there, awkwardly clutching her bag, and-

Woah. She is the prettiest girl Lydia has ever seen. Like, _ever_. Soft blonde ringlets fall across her shoulders, framing her face in a way that makes her glow. Her green eyes are piercing, but it's more inviting than scary; she's got practically every feature that Lydia would expect to see on an angel (whether they're real or not is still something Beetlejuice refuses to acknowledge - he _says_ they aren't, but he always screws his face up and gets super pissy when she asks about them as if he has some kind of vendetta.) Anyway. The girl is beautiful and the only spare seat is next to Lydia because nobody else wanted to sit there.

"I'm new, the secretary told me to come to this lesson?" she says after the teacher doesn't say anything. "Uh, I'm Elizabeth?"

This seems to set Mrs Sutton in to motion, plastering a smile on her face and beckoning her in. "Oh, of course! The lesson is, um, nearly over, but there's no harm in joining in anyway!" Bless her. Lydia's burning hatred for math means she'll never engage in the lessons for as long as she lives, but Mrs Sutton is a nice lady anyway. She probably should get more annoyed at her than she does. "There's a free seat next to Lydia over there, if you want to sit down?" 

As the girl approaches her, Lydia watches her eyes jump to her newly shaved head and then do a general take-in of her outfit. It's pretty tame, all things considered, but that's only because they won't let her wear her hat in class. It's funny - she _looks_ like everything Lydia hated in middle school, another Claire Brewster waiting to happen. Except she doesn't look _mean_. Most of the girls who picked on her were this kind of pretty (take Claire, Lydia might hate her but she can still admit that she's gorgeous) but had something on their face that suggested malice. This girl doesn't have that.

When she sits down, she smiles and waits for the teacher to turn her back. "I like your hair," she whispers, leaning over her desk.

"Thanks," Lydia whispers back, half-smiling uncertainly and thinking _well, we'll see how long that lasts._

God, she's been looking forward to this sandwich all morning. Barbara made it, which instantly means it's going to be delicious _anyway,_ but on top of that she used the posh fake bacon that Delia eats and normally doesn't share. Fresh lettuce, _lots_ of cheese and a reasonably delicious seeded bread - you get the idea, it ticks all the boxes. 

Lydia's one bite into the amazing sandwich when someone clears their throat. She looks up to see the new girl standing on the other side of her table, holding one of the shitty plastic lunch trays and smiling down at her. Mouth too full of sandwich to actually say anything, she just frowns, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Can I sit here?" she asks, pointing at the empty table. Lydia carries on chewing, looking over to the table where she assumed the girl would end up. Claire's staring back at her, watching intently.

"Uh. Why?" she asks, finally finishing her mouthful. 

"You seem cool?" she says, sitting down anyway. 

Lydia narrows her eyes, putting down the sandwich. "This is some kind of joke, right?"

Interestingly, the girl looks genuinely offended by this. "No? What-" she pauses, clocking that Lydia is looking over at the other table. "Oh. No, they asked me to sit with them but. I don't really know, they just seem so..." she trails off, sticking out her bottom lip and wow, she's even prettier up close. "So _nothing_ , y'know? The kind of people who like, never have a career because their whole personality was being in high school."

This startles a laugh out of her, which she's really not expecting. The girl grins at her, starting to cut her roast _whatever_ as if she's decided this is a good place to start. There's no way this could ever end well. "I'm Lydia," she says. "Elizabeth, right?"

"Liss. Elizabeth is so _bleh_ , y'know?" Lydia just smiles, because she doesn't really know how to _make_ small talk, because nobody her age speaks to her. Any moment now, it's going to get super awkward, she's certain. What a mistake this girl has made, thinking Lydia is actually cool because her head is shaved and not the most socially inexperienced sixteen year old ever. "God, this food is pretty dark. Is it always this bad?"

"Uh. Yeah, it's awful. I bring my own," she says, waving the sandwich. And it just carries on from there. On the record, Lydia _hates_ small talk, but with Liss it's... not awful? Every time the conversation dies down, there's enough silence for it to be comfortable before Liss finds something else to talk about. Even then, nothing feels forced; like, it doesn't feel like they're desperately grappling for conversation topics to keep the silence at bay, it feels natural. It's a good head-start, she thinks, because Liss will already have an opinion formed before everyone tells her that Lydia's a witch with a dead mom who's going to curse her.

Isn't high school so much fun?

-

"You seem _less_ angsty than you normally do after school," is how Beetlejuice announces that he's in the room after soundlessly appearing on her bed. "You finally kill someone?"

"You're getting dirt all over my bed," she says without turning around, not having to look to know that he probably is. 

"Am _not_ ," he huffs, but when she finally turns around he's now hovering cross-legged over her rug. "Seriously, Scarecrow. I wanna know how you killed 'em. Spill the deets- hey, spill the deets, _Deetz_ ," he grins, firing finger guns at her like the biggest idiot she's ever met. It's kind of hard to hide that she's laughing, but she really doesn't want to fuel his ego.

"I didn't _kill_ anyone," she says, thinking about how Liss took her number after lunch so she could 'complain about her English lesson'. "There's a new girl. We had lunch together."

"Holy fuck. You're getting _married_?"

"Beetlejuice," she warns, unable to gage how serious he's actually being. " _No_. I think she might like, wanna be friends, or something. That's kind of cool." 

"That's super cool," he says, resting his chin on his hands and looking up at her. "Look at us, settling down. Who would've seen it coming, hey?"

"Beej, she's _just a friend_ _,_ " she insists, definitely not thinking about how pretty she is and how soft her hands were when she gave Lydia her phone to put her number in. "This could potentially be a disaster, anyway. I mean- what if she wants to come over?"

"Then we'll all hang out?" he suggests. 

"Beej, I know _we're_ used to you, but you are literally a demon who looks like a dead guy. Normal people will still probably shit their pants if you show up. Adam and Barbara are less of an issue, but still a risk. Maybe I should just end it now? What d'you think, I could text her saying like 'stay away from me' or something like that?"

"Lyds," he sighs, which is rich because it's not like he knows how to interact with people either. "Do not fucking do that. She's like, a normal girl, right? Don't invite her here and she won't come. Simples."

"Simples," she repeats, because it should be simple. They have a few classes together but not all of them, so it's not like they're going to be hanging out outside of lessons or lunch periods _anyway_.

Or, that's what Lydia tells herself. What she's not prepared for is the interesting amount of coincidental meet-ups they end up having. Every Tuesday and Thursday, Lydia studies in the library after school (as much as she loves Beetlejuice, he's very distracting) by herself. Only, Tuesday comes and Liss wanders in about five minutes after she's sat down, saying something about how she didn't even know the school _had_ a library. Normally Lydia would be kind of pissed, because she comes here to focus, but Liss gets out work and puts a headphone in too, only stopping her occasionally to ask about the homework they're both doing. Weirdly, it's nice- nice enough that when Liss gets up to go home, Lydia says, "Uh, I come on Thursdays too, if you- uh, if you wanna study with me. Again." 

"I'll see you then, Lydia Deetz," she says with a wink, and it's corny and awkward but it makes Lydia's stomach drop. She's left sat in the library, a little flower doodled on her biology textbook from Liss' blue biro and a weird fluttering in her chest. 

(Predictably, Beetlejuice sees this flower and loses his fucking mind.)

And, even weirder, it _keeps_ happening. She's in the hallways wasting time whenever Lydia is, which is really fun until she's there when someone puts a dead rat in her locker. It seems like everyone else knew about it, judging from the way there's a suspicious amount of people gathered around her locker (in hindsight, she should've expected something.) When she sees it, she doesn't scream, but she does jump and slam it shut again. Liss just stares at the locker and the crowd surrounding them. Lydia's waiting for her to be grossed out, because who wants to be associated with the dead-rat girl? 

"What kind of sick fucking joke is that?" she says, voice weirdly serious and quiet. Without saying anything, she opens the locker and takes the rat by the tail, glaring at the crowd as they all step away. "Very entertaining," she carries on as she walks the rat over to the bin and drops it in. She sounds so uninterested, so unimpressed that it's almost bored. At kind of a loss at what to do, Lydia puts in the textbook and locks it again (not that locking it is deterring people.) 

Wordlessly, Liss walks away, checking behind her shoulder to make sure Lydia is following her. She feels sick.

"I've got Chemistry next period," she says when they turn onto a quieter stretch of lockers. "Want to skip with me?"

"I always skip gym," she says, because she does and her dad has had to make peace with that. "Where do you wanna go?"

Twenty minutes later, they're sat in the back of Liss' Jeep (which, Lydia _has_ to admit is super cool because she doesn't even have a car) eating McDonalds and listening to weird indie music. Secretly, she thinks it's kind of bad, but she likes that it makes Liss dance.

"Why'd they put a rat in your locker?"

Straight to the point, then. "They think I'm a witch," she says, staring at her fries. 

"Why?"

"'Cause I dress like this and my mom is dead."

"Oh," she says, taking a bite of her cheeseburger. Lydia waits for the uncomfortable pause and the _I'm sorry_ that she hates hearing. "What the fuck is wrong with those people?" There's another pause, but it doesn't feel like how she thought it would. "Was your mom cool? You seem like you had a really cool mom."

"I-" she starts, because honestly, she's delighted. "Yeah. She was the best. I shaved my head 'cause she always wanted to do hers." Something shifts in her chest and she's worried she's overshared, that now it's weird.

But Liss just grins, pulling at her own hair. "I think that's _awesome_ , man. I'm too much of a pussy to shave my head- you're lucky, though- I'd never look that good bald."

The words impact a second too late so she's already smiling when her stomach drops. Oh. 

Lydia kind of thinks she might like Liss.

 _Shit_. Well. Time to move schools.

-

Liss dropped her home after they'd finished eating, and she had been planning on lying in bed and having a massive gay panic. Unfortunately but completely predictably, Beetlejuice is waiting for her in her room. She does have to give him props, though because he's made her some toast and coffee. "Why are you in here already? What d'you do all day?"

He scowls, taking one of the toast slices. "Wait for you to come home."

"That's cute," she smirks, sitting across from him and taking a piece of toast. 

"You suck," he grumbles, batting her away when she pokes his knee. "What's got you so _whimsical_?" he asks, and for some reason this question has caught her completely off guard, because she does kind of feel a bit delirious. 

"Uh, Liss- I mean, we got McDonald's."

"Dude," he says, eyes widening comically. "I _knew_ it."

" _Why_ are you only stupid when I don't need you to be," she sighs as he cackles into the crook of his elbow. "It's not a big deal, Beej. She's like, definitely straight- and I like being _friends_ with her."

"When am I meeting her? Oh- oh! We could _all-_ "

"You're _not_ meeting her."

A noise squeaks in his throat, similar to what noise Lydia imagines baby puppies make when they're sad. "Do you mean that? Really?"

"I- _Beetlejuice_ ," she pleads.

"You _hate_ me."

"I'm going to lose my mind," she sighs as he pouts at her. What a _baby_. " _Maybe_ you can meet her."

" _Fuck_ yeah!" he cheers, and she immediately regrets her words. Still, it's not like they'll have any reason to ever come to Lydia's house. They can hang out at Liss' house, right?

"Uh, my dad doesn't let me have people over," Liss announces as they're sat in the library after biology, staring down at the sheet of paper they've been handed. "We could just work in the library?"

"The library closes at 4," Lydia frowns, heart beating a mile a minute. If they want to actually do well on this project, they need to do it at Lydia's where they can stay as late as they want and have wifi that actually works. She's pretty sure she could trust Beetlejuice not to reveal himself if she begged him, but the chance of something going wrong in a house with three (3) dead people and two (2) alive people who are stupid is pretty high. Besides, even if Beetlejuice keeps himself hidden he'll probably sulk so hard that mushrooms will grow in the corner of her room again. "Listen," she says, because now she's started talking she can force herself to continue. "We can go to mine. There's just- you have to promise to hear me out, and you're not allowed to think I'm crazy until you've seen for yourself, alright?"

"You certainly know how to build suspense, Deetz. Go on, you've gotta tell me now."

"We bought our house because the couple that lived there died in an accident. Only- they still live there. In the attic."

"You've got _dead people_ in your _attic_?"she gapes, grinning when Lydia gently smacks her arm. "Seriously though, what?"

"They're _ghosts,_ not dead bodies. Adam and Barbara." Liss nods with wide eyes, as if saying _I don't believe you, but I'm gonna roll with it because this is wild_. "That's not even the worst bit. It's nothing compared to- uh. Maybe let's go outside of the library." She laughs, melodic and beautiful but gets her bag and follows her outside anyway. When they're outside the school gates, she takes a deep breath.

"Right. We also have, uh. A demon."

"Lyds," she says. "You're kidding?"

"Unfortunately not," she sighs, kicking a stone with her shoe. "He showed up after we moved in- it's a stupid story but basically, he's decided to stick around. He's fuckin' weird, but we're like best friends. Or something less weird than that."

"You're really a delight," she laughs, but she's not running away or anything. "You're right, I don't believe you. But since you're pretty cool, I'll have to come and see for myself."

"Tomorrow, then? The project is due at the end of next week."

"I'll see ya there," she says, saluting before taking the other fork in the road.

This is almost definitely going to go very wrong. 

-

"This is so exciting, oh my gosh!" Delia's humming, hurrying around in the kitchen with the mini quiches she made for a reason Lydia doesn't understand. "I've never met any of your friends before!"

"I didn't _have_ any friends before," she deadpans.

"Don't be silly! I was your friend," Delia says, not looking up from the kitchen bench. It's cringe, but she sounds like she means it and it makes Lydia smile. "What are you guys gonna be up to?"

"Science project. We need to pick an animal with an interesting feature and do a presentation on it. We're doing snakes."

"Yikes," says Delia at the same time that Beetlejuice says, "Awesome."

The doorbell rings and Lydia thinks her head might explode. "Please, please, _please_. Behave yourself," she begs, rolling her eyes at Beetlejuice's _who, me?_ expression and rushing over to the door. Okay. Deep breath, straighten collar. 

"Hey, Liss," she says, and holy fuck, she's beautiful. She's wearing _brown corduroy shorts_ and they should be ugly but somehow it works, an oversized peaches tee tucked into it and cinched with an ugly belt. It's such a dopey camp-counsellor outfit and Lydia thinks it's the best outfit in the world. "I like your shorts."

"Thanks! Aren't they so ugly?" she beams, turning on the porch as if to show them off. "I _love_ your necklace, dude."

"Come in," Lydia says, because she doesn't really know how to say thank you. "This is, uh- Delia," she says, because she's never said step-mom before now and it feels like too weird of a time to start. "Delia, this is Liss."

"It's so cool to meet you!" Delia enthuses, holding out the plate. "Mini quiche?"

"Awesome," Liss says, sounding like she means it and taking one of them. "So, you mentioned ghosts and a demon?"

"The ghosts are in the garden, but you probably won't be able to see them until you see Beej," she says, waving to where Adam is building Charles' new desk on the patio. Barbara is trimming the roses, and from the way Liss squints she's probably seeing the floating shears at the very end of the garden. 

"Beej? Is that it's name? Not very scary."

"He's not scary, he's a big idiot," she sighs, feeling him flick the back of her head. "I knew you were hiding around here somewhere," then, turning to Liss, "can you see him?"

"Uh, no? Where am I supposed to be looking, your shoulder?"

"Say 'Beetlejuice' three times."

She frowns, but does it anyway. Sure enough, there's a pop of smoke behind her (which, she's found out, doesn't happen automatically but is rather something he does for dramatic effect) and she turns around to see him floating behind her with jazz hands. "Woah," she says, staring up at him.

"You seem to have heard a lot about me, I can assure you it's the same vice versa," he says with a wink, holding out his hand for a handshake and groaning when Lydia elbows him in the stomach. "It's a pleasure- yes, Lydia was _very_ excited for you to come over. Hey! You should come meet the missus," he says, and oh god, this is a new level of weird she hadn't even considered exposing her to. "B-town!" he calls, disappearing before saying anything else.

"Oh, God," Lydia sighs, because Liss has already seen him reappear in the garden and followed without saying anything else. 

"Chin up, chickie," Delia says, squeezing her shoulder. "She seems lovely."

Outside, Beetlejuice is balancing on Adam's shoulders, leaning out of reach whenever Barbara swats at him. "Hi, sweetie!" she beams, expertly jabbing Beetlejuice in the ribs. "You must be Lydia's friend. I'm Barbara, and this is my husband Adam."

"And?" Beetlejuice prompts, sprinkling petals on her head when she tries to ignore him. 

" _And_ ," she sighs, "this is Beetlejuice, our boyfriend. He's a- he's horrendous, really."

"I'm your _boyfriend_?" he says, looking as if all of his birthdays have come at once. Adam finally successfully shrugs him off of his shoulders, but the fall onto the grass does nothing to wipe the grin off of his face. 

"I'm Liss, it's super cool to meet you guys." 

Beetlejuice jumps up, opening his mouth in the way that suggests he's going to start talking about something for a long amount of time. Lydia decides now is the best time to step in. "Should we go up to my room and start working?" she cuts in, doing everything in her power not to react to Beetlejuice winking behind Liss' turned back. 

When they finally get upstairs and close her bedroom door (not that it will do anything to keep anyone out,) Liss perches on the end of her bed and looks around. "Your room is really cool, dude! I love the stripes."

"Beej painted them without asking- sorry about all that, by the way. It's- I know it's a lot, so if you wanna work in the library that's totally fine."

"Are you kidding? This is like, the most awesome family ever, man. You're super lucky."

Lydia's eye catches the only polaroid she's ever framed - her, Delia and dad sat on the couch, with the Maitlands as floating sheets behind them and a very faint apparition of Beetlejuice holding two fingers above her head. "Yeah," she smiles, sitting down on the bed next to her. "I guess I am."


	2. until my heart explodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I mean it, Lydia Deetz," Liss says when they're driving back home, looking at the road and not her. "I think you're the coolest person in this whole town."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait!! i hope you like it

"Dude, this is so cool," she's saying, expertly cutting out the A3 sized snake picture for their display. It's the inland Taipan, the most poisonous snake in the world, and Lydia can't stop looking at Liss and her sun-burnt, freckled shoulders. "We're definitely gonna have the best in the class."

"Molly and Prudence are doing butterflies," she points out, flicking through the finished slides on her laptop. "Miss might think snakes are gross. Delia does."

"Have you done a bit on that one boa constrictor that spent months trying to eat its owner?" Beetlejuice asks from where he's perched on the back of her desk chair. All this snake talk has inspired him, clearly, as he's currently focused on creating a sand worm out of dust bunnies and having it circle around his head. Lydia suspects he would get a pet sandworm if it wouldn't grow to the size of bigger-than-the-house after a few months (and there's no guarantee it wouldn't eat Adam and Barbara.)

"Obviously," Liss says. She's been coming over pretty much every day for the last week, and it's kind of Lydia's favourite thing ever. Barbara thinks she's _the cutest thing_ and her parents seem thrilled that she's found a real, normal person to be her friend. Beetlejuice thinks she's super cool, though he won't stop winking at Lydia or making _make a move_ gestures at her whenever Liss turns her back. Subtlety has never been his strong point (or any of his points, really.) "And- drum roll, please," she says, standing up and readjusting the poster, "Tadah! We're done."

To his credit, Beetlejuice claps along with them. "Are you gonna practice it? Can I watch? Ooh- no, we should fucking get Subway and _then_ we should practice it. No?" he says, leaning closer and nearly falling off the chair. "Not a Subway vibe? Taco Bell?"

"The nearest Taco Bell is like, a million miles away," Lydia sighs, because now Liss having a car has introduced him to the world of fast food and he's never going to go back now. On the plus side, this might mean she can convince him to come across (definitely not steal) a car that nobody needs and give it to her. "Delia's making chilli."

"No, Delia's making _vegan_ chilli. That shit is not the same."

"If you want to watch, shut up," she warns, handing him the paper scraps they don't need. Liss' eyes widen dramatically as he tears in to the pile, excitedly rambling about how the printer ink makes it much nicer. It's funny, how much she _shouldn't_ fit in here but completely does. Charles said what she had been thinking: the whole, _don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're friends, but she's so different to you._ And she is. Now that she's been at school for a month or so, she's got quite a few solid other groups of friends (something Lydia has never had in her life) and has joined the _theatre_ group, of all things. She's always talking in class and seems like she genuinely cares about the discussions she's joining in on, which is again something very foreign to Lydia.

"Ladies, gentlemen and demons," Liss says in a radio-announcer voice, standing up next to the large poster. Lydia joins her at the other side, awkwardly holding up the laptop so that Beetlejuice can see the pictures on the different slides. "Get ready to learn about the most interesting animal of your _lives_." Even just in front of Beetlejuice, she feels kind of silly standing up here but it doesn't matter that much because she's really just watching Liss, who she thinks could do a presentation about dirt and still make it exciting. She's not _afraid_ of public speaking like she assumes Adam probably was in high school, it just feels like a waste of time. It's definitely not something she considers fun and would therefore rather avoid, but somehow watching Liss talk is making it fun.

Beetlejucie is watching them talk with apt attention - for someone who loudly won't shut up about how boring he finds all of her school work, he's always ready to hear about anything she finds remotely interesting. What a stupid fucking nerd.

"And that's why we thought snakes were super cool!" she beams, and Lydia remembers she's supposed to be staring at the audience of demon and not Liss. "I'll work on rephrasing that," she decides, but she's grinning with pink cheeks as Beetlejuice claps with lots of vigor. "That was alright, right?" and then she's leaning to gently elbow her in the side, bright eyes smiling and Lydia thinks she might be sick.

"We're gonna nail it," she promises, because how could they not? Liss pumps her fist in the air, holding her hand out for a high-five from both of them. "I feel like- oh, but the chilli."

Beetlejuice jumps to his feet, pointing at her with newly painted nails (they'd both done a hand each.) "You sound like you were about to suggest _celabratory takeaway_ ," he declares, poising his hands on his hips. "I can get rid of the chilli if you need me to. It'll look like an accident." He's being deadly serious.

"No, I would feel so rude! Delia's spent all day cooking." Over her shoulder, Beetlejuice mouths _wife material_ and is halfway through mouthing _ask her out_ when she turns around, reaching for her bag. "I guess I should probably head home if you guys are eating soon!" she says, crouching down to readjust her shoelace. Beetlejuice gives her an intense _look_.

"We- uh," is as far as she gets, only having a couple seconds whilst Liss finishes tying it before she stands back up. "Uh. It's a special occasion- us finishing it, I mean. I don't think Delia would mind." Liss looks hopeful, but maybe hesitant, so Lydia adds, "I'll go ask if she minds, if you want."

Delia is dozing on the armchair, Barbara and Adam sat playing some kind of complicated card game at the table with her Real Housewives episode playing in the background. The chilli does smell really good, but there's not enough for another person. "Delia," she says from the other side of the armchair, smirking when she jumps and makes some kind of high pitched noise. "Would it be okay if Liss stayed for dinner so we could get takeaway?" 

She's got this whole spiel about how it's the last day of working on their project and they want to celebrate, and how Beetlejuice has gone feral from thinking about eating subway but she doesn't even get to this bit before Delia plasters this massive smile on her face. "Of course! Of course you and your _friend_ can get takeaway," she says, and it might just be because she's half asleep, but something in her voice sounds _amused_ , in a way. Lydia is nearly certain that all of Delia's vibe-reading, crystal-feeling stuff isn't real. But only _nearly_ certain, because in moments like this where she can't possibly know anything at all, she _knows_.

"Thanks," she says, voice cracking a little. Barbara looks up from her card game, smiling at her for a reason she's not certain about. Adults and their stupid _knowing_ stuff. 

Lydia waits until she's back outside her bedroom door to take a deep breath and gather herself, smoothing her hand over her head. But before she's able to reach for the doorknob, she hears them speaking and she kind of wants to listen, just for a second. Weirdly, Beetlejuice's voice is low, too quiet for her to pick up what he's saying. This makes her uneasy, because he is notoriously bad at being quiet.

"I wouldn't do anything like that," Liss says, sounding kind of offended and like Lydia needs to burst in right now, but she holds off because Liss clears her throat. "Lydia's just," she says, trailing off, and oh shit, they're talking about _her_. "She's awesome. I wouldn't."

"We're cool, then," Beetlejuice is saying, sounding much more relaxed. "Hey, did you know that she used to-"

"Delia said we can get takeaway," she says far too fast as soon as she's got the door open, because Beetlejuice knows like, hundreds of embarrassing things about her and Liss doesn't need to know any of them. "So, what d'you wanna get? I'll pay."

"Don't be silly! My treat," she says, leaning into Lydia's side ever so slightly. Fuck. "So, someone wanted Subway?"

"Sandwiches for dinner is kind of like. Cursed."

"I'm not hearing a _no_ ," Beetlejuice pipes up, which is funny for someone who can't even come in the car because when Charles and Delia are home they get too worried about him going out. "Cursed is like, your middle name. Lydia Cursed Deetz. Please, I want Subway."

Lydia also wants Subway, but it's more fun to pretend she doesn't. "Maybe."

"I'll convince Barbara to make another cherry pie _this weekend_." 

Liss stands between them, holding an imaginary microphone to her mouth. "The defence presents a convincing argument, but the prosecution doesn't seem to accept."

"Uh- _fuck_. I'll do that- and I'll get rid of all the bugs you want me to."

"You do that anyway, Beej, because you _eat_ them."

"For the record, the commentator thinks that's gross. Does the defence have a rebuttal?"

"I'll get the pie shit done, the bugs gone and _._ And- uh, fuck. I dunno what teenage girls like. Cocaine? No? Do you want weed? Alcohol? That seems more age appropriate."

Lydia blinks for a second. "Uh. Yeah?" She's never smoked or drank _anything_ before, but she's kind of always thought it would be cool, and there's no harm in _seeming_ cool in front of Liss. "Subway, then."

"We have a winner!" Liss cheers, and she's pretty sure that's not how court works, but here they are anyway. "I'm just gonna go to the toilet and then we can go." With that, she leaves, and Lydia only has a second to catch her breath before Beetlejuice materialises a few inches away from her face, poking her nose.

"What the fuck?" she tries to say, before he _shushes_ her. " _What._ "

"Dude, are you gonna ask her out or what?" he stage-whispers, someone who is notoriously bad at whispering. "She's clearly so gay for you."

"Shut _up_ ," she hisses, punching him in the arm and then giving him a dead arm after he punches her arm back. "I am not gonna ask her out."

"Pussy." Lydia punches him again, just for principle. "Are we definitely not going with the me-helping-you angle? I'm a _great_ wingman, kid, and-"

" _Beetlejuice_. I will literally banish you to hell if you don't stop talking right now." He scowls at her, stepping back and crossing his arms. "I'm not asking her out today."

"Tomorrow then!" Beetlejuice says as Liss opens the bedroom door, grinning when Lydia can't respond. "So! Dinnertime. I want a 12-inch meatball sub- toasted with cheese, _obviously_. Are you sure I can't come with?"

"You're not coming with," Lydia confirms before Liss can suggest otherwise, not appreciating the thumbs up he gives her behind Liss' shoulder.

The car ride is pretty much quiet - Subway is one of the few chains that's actually made it in to their tiny shitty town, so it's not a long drive by any means. Somehow, only the songs Lydia has liked from Liss' awful indie mix are playing, as if she's catalogued every time she's danced or screwed up her nose. That would be silly, right? 

Or, she thinks, as one of her few favourites comes on and Liss turns it up without saying anything, maybe she'll let herself believe that it's not. Maybe for this car ride they can just be two girls who have feelings for each other and sing really loudly to songs nobody likes as if people can't hear them when they stop at the lights. It's a little bit delusional, but it's only for this car ride.

Of course, Liss doesn't help the delusions when the cashier at Subway starts flirting with her. Just for a second, Lydia's stomach drops, because there's absolutely no reason for her not to give him her number - they're both very conventionally attractive and he's being _smooth_ in a way that Lydia probably will never be as long as she lives. But Liss just smiles politely and says she's not interested, prompting him to turn his attention to Lydia. "Interesting hair," he says as Liss taps her card. "Why'd you shave it?"

_It's none of your fucking business_ , Lydia is completely about to say before Liss lands her hand on it, rubbing a circle into her head. "So she could be the most awesome chick in this Subway, obviously. You see anyone else this cool around here?" She wants to laugh it off, because even though she is cool, she doubts it matches up with this guy's definition of cool (or anything between cool and remotely okay.) But Liss' hand is still on her head and she's leaning closer, elbow balanced on her shoulder. 

"It's pretty cool," says the cashier, handing them their bag of sandwiches. Liss seems like she could be a fairy or something else with the power of extreme trickery, because- well. Lydia, _conventially_ , isn't cool. She's wearing a calf length black skirt and a black jumper and has a whole tube of eyeliner on her face _and_ a shaved head. But when Liss is standing next to her, pointing and saying _look, look_ , it doesn't actually matter what she looks like because she feels like the coolest person in the world.

"I mean it, Lydia Deetz," Liss says when they're driving back home, looking at the road and not her. "I think you're the coolest person in this whole town."

"I can't believe you still say _cool_ ," she responds, but she's definitely bright pink and grinning like some kind of idiot. Judging by the way Liss catches her eye in the rearview mirror and grins back, she doesn't seem to mind as much. 

They all eat as soon as they're back home, Beetlejuice nearly tearing up when Liss announces she has also purchased him a cookie and giving Lydia a look that probably means _I swear to fuck would you please just make a move so someone will keep buying me cookies._ When their biology teacher had announced the presentation projects, she'd been dreading it a little bit because everyone in her class sucks. Now she's almost looking forward to it because it's doing something with Liss. (Yes, she has a fucking massive crush on Liss, but it's not just that. She really, really likes her as a friend, and it's part of the reason she doesn't want to ask her out - dating her would be awesome, but so would being her friend.) It only dawns on her when she's helping Liss carry the poster to her car that now they don't have a reason to hang out every day after school. Shit.

"I think we're gonna fuck up everyone else," Liss decides, slamming the back door and leaning against it. It's a cool night, but not cold, and the moon is full enough that it's reflecting off of her hair in soft silvery light. "You ready?"

"No. You _know_ I'm gonna practice until it's our turn. I can't remember all this stuff. like you can."

"Me? I'm all talk." She shifts, as if she's about to say she'd better get going, and Lydia feels something very small hit her back. Beetlejuice is disappearing from the attic window by the time she looks around, but she gets the message anyway. God, she hates that stupid fucking demon. "I should probably go," she sighs, actually not looking very happy about it. "I'll see you on Monday, yeah?"

"Yeah," Lydia echoes, squeezing her hands into fists. She wants to do it. Like, really, really bad. Girls don't get much better than Liss. "Or," she manages to choke out as Liss goes to open the front door. "Fuck, goddamnit, okay. Or we could. Go out this weekend."

"Oh?" Liss says, raising an eyebrow. "Whatever would we do?"

"Lunch," she grits out, furiously staring at Liss' shoes. "We could go out for lunch."

"Lydia Deetz, are you asking me on a _date_?"

Shit. "Depends on whether you want to go on a date?"

"Hmm," she says, and Lydia _has_ to look up now. Liss is grinning in a way she's never seen before, scratching her chin like a cartoon. "That sounds like too good of an offer to pass." She laughs, presumably at the stupid smile that's just errupted on Lydia's face. "I'll pick you up at 12 tomorrow, then?"

"Yes- yeah," she's saying, watching Liss get into the car. "Awesome," which is cringe, but Liss laughs anyway, waving her hand out of her open window as she drives away. "Awesome," she repeats to the grass. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! it's pretty much finished, i'm just adding a LITTLE bonus chapter very soon  
> liked it? hated it? want to talk about beetlejuice? comment! or come and find me on tumblr at @bi-tlejuice! (for some reason, it doesn't show up when you search for it so the link is here: https://bi-tlejuice.tumblr.com )


	3. the author pissing around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lydia decides she might as well come out to everyone else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is ridiculous. i couldn't NOT write it

Beetlejuice is in her bedroom eating the subway wrapper when she runs upstairs, jumping up as soon as she closes the door behind her. Words have kind of escaped her, so she just points at him excitedly, stomping on the floor when he points back. "Holy shit, dude!" he cheers, definitely too loud for the quiet dinner everyone was having downstairs. "You asked her?"

" _Hell_ yeah I did!" she grins, punching the air because there's all this fuzzy happy energy inside of her and she's got to express it somehow. 

"That's my girl!" he cheers, holding both hands out for a double high five (only used on special occasions.) "I _knew_ you could do it, kid." She doesn't really have any more words so she just whoops, waving her arms around in the air. Who knew risk taking was this awesome? Maybe she should try, like, cliff jumping next. 

"Is anything on fire in here? Can I come in?" says Barbara, softly knocking at the door. Beetlejuice doesn't stop doing flips in the air so Lydia rushes to it, hurling into her with a massive hug before she says anything else. "Ooh! Are we celebrating? How fun!"

"I asked Liss on a date and she said yes!" Lydia cheers, because in this moment it doesn't matter that she hasn't come out to Barbara, it just matters that she's happy and wants to share it. To her credit, Barbara only looks shocked for like, two seconds before she grabs Lydia's hands and holds them up. 

"That's great, sweetheart! How exciting! What are you going to wear?"

"I have no idea." Beetlejuice stops doing flips in the air and floats off to the side, dropping onto the bed. "Would you help me choose?"

"Of course! I'd be honoured, Lydia," she beams, squeezing her in to a hug. For some reason, just for a second, Lydia thinks about mom. "Have you told your dad?" Oh. _That_. Immediately, Barbara seems to sense the mood shift and plasters a grin on her face. "You don't have to if you don't want to! I won't tell a soul, honey."

"No, I want them to know, I just want to like- don't I need to come out, first?"

"You don't need to come out to shit," Beetlejuice says from the bed, finally sitting up. "Look at me. You see me announcing my sexuality and gender anywhere? It's nobody's fuckin' business unless I want it to be."

"True," Lydia muses, at the same time that Barbara says, "wait, _gender_?"

"I am not taking questions about my gender at this time- anyway, this is about Lydia and how gay she is. You don't _have_ to come out, Scarecrow, but if you wanna then I'm your man. I'm known for my dramatic flair and flawless execution."

"You literally have never flawlessly executed one single thing," Barbara sighs, but she sits down next to him on the bed anyway. "He's right- if you want to come out, I could help you bake a cake or something? Ooh! We could do each layer a different colour of the rainbow!"

"Boring, outdated, old news!" Beetlejuice chants, a floating whiteboard appearing from nowhere next to his head. "I'm kidding, please let me sleep in the bed tonight. Anyway. What _you_ need, Lydia, is to come out with a _bang_. Literally. We release the confetti canons that I will steal from Party City," he says, pointing with a pointer at the illustrations appearing on the whiteboard. "You will hover in as I will use my awesome powers to make that possible, ending on the dining room table where Chuck, Delia and Adam will be eating dinner." A _questionable_ drawing of the three of them at the table appears.

"Why does white-board Adam look like he's not wearing-" Barbara tries to cut in, immediately shushed by Beetlejuice.

"I am not open to criticism, thank you. Anyway- oh yeah! Right, so you're floating, and in comes a massive banner that says _I'm a lesbian_ on it and it's like, painted rainbow and- yeah, fuck it, it's on fire too-"

"Okay!" Barbara cuts in, jumping up and pulling the whiteboard down from the air. "Great idea, very- uh, yes, but we can't have a fire in the kitchen." She turns to Lydia, eyes wide, prompting some kind of response so Beetlejuice stops giving dangerous suggestions.

"We could do a mix of both?"

"Lady and gentlemen," Barbara says in a comically deep voice that comes from the middle of the table (because she's gotten really good at the whole voice throwing thing.) "Get ready for the announcement of the century."

The cake floats down first, hand baked by Barbara and Lydia and nearly ruined by Beetlejuice. From the outside, the icing is fondant black, but when it lands in the centre of the table, a slice that they cut earlier falls away to reveal the rainbow inside. "Ready, kid?" Beetlejuice whispers from where they're waiting on the stairs.

Really, she's almost certain they'll be fine with it, and that's why it felt okay to be so ridiculous about it. But- it's hard to be 100% certain about anything, so she still feels a little bit sick when she nods. "You've got this," he says, and suddenly she's floating down the stairs, the banner they painted earlier floating over her head. Immediately, Adam starts clapping, laughing when Barbara appears behind her and starts blowing a whistle.

"I knew it," Delia says, also clapping but genuinely not looking surprised. "I thought it was obvious, did you guys not know?"

Charles just stares at her, blinking furiously. Eventually, Delia kicks his shin and indicates towards Lydia (who is being slowly lowered to the ground.) "Uh," he says, clearly unsure of what to say but not looking angry or upset. Lydia regards this as a good sign and also normal, as he never really knows what to say. Delia kicks him again and he shrugs, as if to say _well, here goes nothing,_ before sticking his arm in the air and cheering. It's so out of character that Lydia can't help but snort, chest warm and fuzzy at how he looks genuinely happy for her. For a second, they're all just staring at him, nobody sure of how to act.

Then Beetlejuice appears on the table, sliding across it on his knees and so nearly crashing in to the cake. "Let's fucking celebrate!"

This family dynamic is kind of weird. Dad, step-mom, ghost-mom, ghost-dad and demon best friend who's dating the ghost-parents. But, she's watching as Adam cuts cake for everyone and it feels almost as if it wouldn't work any other way.

"Hey," her dad says, quietly, away from the noise of the table. "You know I'm proud of you, right?" Lydia isn't quite sure how to respond, but when she goes in for a hug he squeezes her back. "Your mom would be super proud of you too."

"I know," she says, smiling up at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl someone please draw this and tag me

**Author's Note:**

> will i ever stop using mcr lyrics for these titles no  
> if you want to chat about goldenrat, lydia being gay or beetlejuice the musical in general, come find me on tumblr!  
> https://bi-tlejuice.tumblr.com


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